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Peekaboo

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I got you.  It was the only thing Kevin whispered to Lawson leaning over the crib and now soldering him through the ER parking lot nine years later.  The rest of the life and death game was wordless.  This is how it starts but it’s not the beginning.  It was always the middle, just past the point of no return. 

It’s getting so you can’t separate the words “no” and “where” or “every” and “thing” without the software lighting it up in blue-underline.  I deleted the other two sentences I just wrote about them.  I’m forced to do a wordaround.  It may slow us down in a bad way.  Maybe not.

Slowing down can be advantageous when you think you’re going too fast, and possibly when you think you are going at the right speed.  I do remember that about speed and speaking from my two public speaking classes.  One class was in high school.  It was in either junior or senior year I took the class.  Maybe I could remember if I got my yearbook out of the attic somewhere.  The second time was in college.  No accurate memory of what year that was either except it took me ten years to get my accounting degree through an unrepeatable combination of dropped courses, major changes from psychology to philosophy to accounting full-time, part-time, night-school all starting in 1979.  It was probably freshman sophomore in credits when I took the course, so before the end of mid 80s.  

The dropped courses didn’t cost money.  After your parent worked a year at the college, courses were free.  My mother secretaried clerked there first in the college bookstore, then the Athletic Director’s office, then the Administrative Offices for the student center.  I think it was in that order, good chance it was different.  Again with the blue-underline.  You can write “clerked” but not “secretaried”.  I shouldn’t complain, you can write 'wordaround’ instead of workaround, and my complaining may be too slow.  I’ll write harder on wordarounds.  Holy shit, I just got a red line for adding an “s” to wordaround.  Totally distracting.  I’ll stop complaining and keep the crossouts down, but they’re left in for a reason, you.  You, and the dark behind you.

You are to catch up before this story reaches the unreasonable dark it’s going to, otherwise you’ll drown, unable to breath in fear, failing to get back from the premoral goo.    

Yes, that was an analogy.  Hopefully I’ll use very few.  You may be thinking some are helpful fast and dead-on, some not, but all in life can be part of a harmful insidious real death.  

You may not want to read on now.  Good for you, remember those thoughts for now.  It shows we are going at the right speed.  You won’t win this game, but you won’t die trying either.

If you are reading this just long enough unafraid and amused to see what you’ll win, not good for you.  If you read words about floating wisdom defying gravity, wordless physical abilities beyond your thoughts, and read about an enlightenment that awaits if you can return from the dark, you will be blinded by that light.  My writing an analogy here about such words leading like pointing for a dog, might slow you, but not slow enough to ever adjust to the dark, and you will not be coming back.  Forgive me.  Already I risk you’ll risk your life and read on.