Road rage and how to stop it.

I wrote about road rage and how to stop it back in July of 2021.  There are two ways to stop road rage.  The trick, or way, is not to be in the middle of both ways.  I’ll explain why.  

The first way is to separate the "why" from the "what just happened".  A car tailgates when you're doing a good speed and leaving enough safe space from the car in front of you, or you get cut off by a car, or a car cuts in line at the exit and then another and another while "the rest of us" have been waiting moving up slow. it makes you mad just thinking about it.   It hard not to have road rage about what just happened if you already had a lot on your mind or what just happened was dangerous, or now you're going to be even later.  How do you stop it? How do you stop your road rage? The answer is easier than you think.  It's thinking differently and leaving the "why" out of what just happened. 

Why does this guy, this woman... Why do they think they can just cut me off, tailgate, cut in line... "Who do they think they are...", is just another way of saying why do they think they are better than me, better than us?  Why does this happen to me, to us?  "That's not fair..." is another way of saying why do they get to do that if we don't.  The questions reek with rage before any answer and there won't be an answer, just maybe a glancing judgement from two windows away.  And if loud words are exchanged they are all about why they're wrong even if it's only by assuming you now have the right to curse them out.  But leave the why out of what just happened and what do you have?  You have an answer that doesn't cause road rage.

 What just happened?  A car cuts you off and you instinctively take evasive action.  A car tailgates dangerously close to you and your mind measures the danger against getting to where you are going and continues to decide ignore it, speedup or change lanes.  Note, if you decide to slow down your "why" might already be engaged, while the other choices might have as much "why is the other drive tailgating" as playing a video game or watching trafic coverage on the news.  Cutting in line in front of you without focusing on the "why" of the other driver can be the same in reducing the rage as not getting mad about carrying your one in an addition problem.  Do you get angry at the “why” of the car cutting you off in a video game?  Playing videos games, watching traffic reports do you see yourself thinking about the “why” of the a driver in that video game car or get road rage thinking about the "whys" of all the drivers covered by a helicopter news updating with traffic videos showing traffic moving fast and close.  You seeing the difference.  The "why" lies with the drivers.  The video game example and in-the-sky view don't seem to have drivers to focus on, to ask the "why".  The cars are just cars on the road going in the same direction and if you were playing the game or reporting the traffic you could do either without road rage.  The same is true if you focus on what just happened when you're driving instead of the "why".  

What just happened is a car just got in front and you instinctively took evasive action.  A car tailgates dangerously close your mind measures the danger against getting to where you are going and continues to decide ignore stay the same, speedup or change lanes.  What just happened is a car or two or three extra are now before you in the exit along with the rest of cars that left in the same direct somewhere around the same time.  Screw why.  

The other way to stop road rage?  Go completely the other way.  What would you feel if that driver was your child who just got their license or was lost and needing a break?  How would you want other drivers to respond, would you want them to be understanding.  Would you be understanding about someone else’s child or just someone else? Could you pay it forward?